


The Owl and the Porch Swing

by nimrod262



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Bears, Heatwave, Hero Worship, Humour, M/M, Novel positions, Oh to see ourselves as others see us, Owls, Puppies, Skinny Dipping, Sleepless nights, cooling down, lockdown - Freeform, midnight swim, partnerships, porch swings, sexual gymnastics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimrod262/pseuds/nimrod262
Summary: Piers is too hot for his own good.  Chris has to think of a way to cool him down.  But as usual with Chris’ plans, his attention to detail is somewhat lacking.  Where there’s a porch swing, there’s usually an owl.  Oh, to see ourselves as others see us!
Relationships: Finn Macauley/Danny Svenson, Piers Nivans/Chris Redfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	The Owl and the Porch Swing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theosymphany](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theosymphany/gifts).



> A smexy ‘lockdown' short, written during a heatwave and a sleepless night!

Under a scorching Spanish midday sun, cicadas danced circadian rhythms to the sound of castanets. In the home counties of England, stiff upper lips perspired discreetly with the unaccustomed heat; and in Paris, the Seine steamed and sizzled it’s way through the heart of a sweltering city. In the midst of lockdown, the northern hemisphere was experiencing an unprecedented heatwave.

On the other side of the Atlantic, in the center of the great pine forest that grew around the big bend of the river in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, the occupants of the _Deuce_ _of_ _Hearts_ experienced yet another restless night. A night as warm as any summer’s day. Hazel eyes fluttered open and blinked away the moisture, whilst the full lips formed into a pout. His body was wreathed in sweat. He wasn’t calm or collected. And he certainly wasn’t cool. Piers Nivans was not a happy puppy. He pushed against the massive, scarred arm that encircled him.

“You’re too hot!”

“Huh?” Chris Redfield forced himself out of his torpor. “Say that again Ace.”

“You’re hot!”

Now more awake, Chris puffed his already impressive chest out a bit further. "Well, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but when you’ve got it …”

“I mean hot hot!”

“So do I …”

“No! I mean HOT hot, as in heat. Not hot as in …”

“Um, you’re losing me now Ace. I thought you liked my hot, er, my heat?”

“Not tonight!”

“You got another headache?”

“No! I mean I’m hot!”

“Yeah, you’re the coolest person I know. Grrrr!”

“HOT hot, not hot HOT!”

“Sorry, I’m confused again now.”

“Sigh! Chris, I’m boiling. I can’t sleep. It’s too hot. You’re hot and I’m hot. Do you understand?”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“What wasn’t?”

“Whatever I’m just about to be blamed for. It’s always my fault when you’re cranky.”

“I’m NOT cranky!”

…

“Well?”

“I plead the fifth amendment.”

“Argh! Ok, I’m sorry Babe. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It’s just this nighttime heat. After three days, it’s getting through to me.”

“Well, I don’t have to hold you.”

“But I like you holding me … usually.”

“Well, try it anyway. There … un-held. Better?”

“Not really.”

“Well, the sheet’s already turned down. Uh, take your feet out from under the fold. You know what they say.”

“No. What do ‘they’ say?”

“Cold feet, cold heart, or something. Keeping your feet cool helps keep the rest of you cool as well.”

“It’s not helping.”

“Oh, I know! We could put the tent up, in the yard. It’s always cold when you’re under canvas.”

“Chris! The place is alive with bugs and insects and other assorted creepy crawlies this time of year. Plus Ruffy would want to join us. I need to cool down, not have ninety pounds of German Shepherd on one side and two hundred and twenty …”

“Oi! Alright, alright, I get it! Ah! Got it!”

“That was quick, even for you!”

“Pftt. Now, where’s my shorts?”

“Um, let me look … ah, here they are, under my pillow.”

“How’d they get there?”

“Er …”

“Never mind! Pass them over. Better put yours on too.”

“Where … ?”

“Bottom of the bed. Where you left them. Ha! Come on, hurry up.”

“What’s the rush?”

“Gotta’ act fast Piers, spur of the moment. Carpe Diem and all that. Now, where’s my thongs?”

“Under the bed. And I do wish you’d call them flip-flops. Thongs sounds so …”

“Hot?”

“That’s not … WHOA! What are you doing?”

“Fireman’s lift, easiest way.”

“Put me down!”

“All in good time Hot Stuff. Ha! See? Hot, fireman, fireman’s lift. Geddit?”

“Oh good grief … !”

***************

“Where are we going?”

“Just relax and enjoy the view.”

“All I can see is your butt.”

“Like I said, enjoy the view … Ah, here we are. I’m gonna’ put you down now, Ok? Three, two, huff!”

“The boathouse?”

“Ten out of ten for recognition Ace.”

“How is the boathouse going to cool me down?”

“It’s not. But the river will. We’re going midnight skinny dipping!”

“We are?”

“Yes.”

“But what if Finn and Danny see us?”

“They’re not here, remember? Holed-up on base with the rest of the medical team.”

“Ah!”

“Ah indeed! And we can dry off on the porch swing after. That’s why I didn’t bother to bring any towels.”

“Oh. Um, you’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”

“All part of my plan. Come on then! Last one in’s a sissy.”

“You’re taking your shorts off?”

“Can’t go skinny dipping in skivvies Ace, or thongs.”

“Er, no, of course not. Is it safe?”

“It’s summer, the river’s low this time of year. WHEEE! SPLASH!”

“Uh, yeah, whoo-hoo! Plop. OH MY GOD!”

“I know, isn’t it marvelous? You wanted cold. Look sharp Piers! Race ya’ to the other side …”

“I can’t feel my …”

“Ha, ha, ha!”

****************

“I tell you Dan, I heard an owl.”

“It’s nighttime. That’s when you hear owls. Come back to bed Finny.”

“I don’t want them in the house!”

“They could join the bats.”

“Pardon?”

“Never mind …”

****************

“I’m c,c,cold Chris!”

“Ha, ha! Oh Piers. Is there any pleasing you?”

“W,well …”

“I knew it! Out we get. Let’s go dry off on the swing first …”

“And t,then?”

“I have something in mind.”

All p,part of the p,plan?“

"Absolutely!”

“I thought s,so.”

****************

“Really?”

“It’s a porch swing Piers, we gotta’ take advantage of that.”

“But won’t … ?”

“Probably. Only one way to find out. No, the other end …”

****************

“There it is again!”

“Huh?”

“Dan, wake up!”

“Wha?”

“That owl. And it sounds like he’s brought friends, outside.”

“Finn, owls are mainly solitary. They don’t have porch parties.”

“Oh! Perhaps it’s something else then! Do we have wolves in Pennsylvania?”

“No. There’s plenty of Coyotes, but I’ve never seen any around here. Some black bears of course.”

“What was that? It sounded like it came from just outside the window. Oh Dan!”

“Easy Finny. I’ll check it out. You stay there.”

“Be careful Danny! Don’t go out there. Look through the curtains. Can you see anything?”

“Oh my sweet merciful lord!”

“What? What is it?”

“It’s a bear… !”

“I knew it!”

“… with a puppy.”

“What! Eating it?”

“Um, kinda’!”

“Why are you tilting your head? Let me see.”

“No Finn! Get back in bed. I don’t think you should …”

“Oh feck!”

“I told you not to look.”

“Cap'in?”

“Looks like it. No one else around here has guns that size.”

“Where’s … ?”

“Uh, see those feet there. I think they’re Piers’. It’s not easy to tell in the dark, and from this angle. He’s sorta’ blended in, just like you’d expect him to.”

“Close the curtain now Dan, and walk away, quietly.”

“What shall we do?”

“Go back to bed. Forget we’ve ever seen them.”

“That’s gonna’ be hard. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that position before.”

“Dan!”

“I wonder … Look, if you go that way round …”

“Well, yes, but then where does this arm go?”

“Here, I think, agh … yes, that’s it!”

“Wait a minute. Can I be Cap'in, and you be El Tee?”

“No. It’s about height. You’re not tall enough Finny! I have to say, the Captain’s still very athletic for his age.”

“He’s always awesome! Nearly there … Oh, what do I do with my feet?”

“Over my shoulders I think.”

“Hmm, that doesn’t feel right.”

“Hang on a minute, let me go check … Ah, I see … got it!”

“Well?”

“You need to hook them around the back of my neck.”

“Ooh, like this you mean?”

“I think so. How does that feel now?”

“Well, it’s still weird being upside down.”

“It’s probably easier with the swing.”

“Probably, but I think I’ll get the hang of it. Oh Danny! OHHH … !”

****************

“What was that?”

“What?”

“I thought I heard a scream.”

“Screech owl?”

“Hmm, probably, It certainly sounded surprised.”

“Hence the name. Now, do you fancy another dip?”

“Afterwards, on the porch swing again. Let’s have a swim first!”

“Naughty Piers!”

“Heh, heh. Who cares? We’re in lockdown, who’s gonna’ see us?”

“Whoo-ooh indeed. That was my owl impersonation by the way.”

“T’wit! That was mine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Will Finn and Danny let something slip? How would Chris and Piers react? Hmm, sounds like a follow up . . .


End file.
